Friday, April 6, 2012

FEAR...What's yours?

To a younger Debra, appearances were very important. My life centered around being accepted by people. Well we all know the truth to that way of thinking. You can never measure up to the scrutiny of others. With maturity I grew out of that fear. Eventually a different fear evolved. The fear of self judgement. I didn't measure up to my own expectations.

I feared I didn't turn out as well as I should. I feared that I wasn't the best mom. I feared getting older and losing my health and having to be dependent on someone. I feared I would outlive my money. I feared not being able to remember who I was. I feared losing my mate and my friends.

Fear could be a life changer. Actually it could paralyze and keep you from living your life. I have found the courage not to give in to fear. In doing so I've come to terms with some things I can do to minimize my fears. I eat healthy and exercise. My writing has become my mental stress buster and a way to keep my mind sharp. Getting older means facing age related problems but that doesn't mean becoming a victim to them.

Instead of entertaining my fears I entertain myself with the company of friends and the companionship of my loved ones. I've forgiven others for any trespasses against me and more importantly I've forgiven myself for past mistakes, transgressions and failures.

Peace has become my biggest ally against fear. What do you fear most? How do you conquer your fears?


  1. I do have fears but that is a secret.
    do check out my F at GAC a-z

  2. I feel much the way you do about this. Things are going to happen and hopefully I'll be able to deal with them in a positive and productive way.

    A Few Words
    An A to Z Co-host blog

  3. Hello Dreamweaver :-) I am trailing back to your blog from a link you left me in this wonderful challenge of alphabetical blogonomics. It's so fun to see what other people write, and think about.

    My fears are usually short lived any more. When I recognize them, it is not long before I am rushing through the fire to get to the other side. It's easier for me to deal with the fear at the time, than to dwell on in for any time.

    Nice post, and it is also nice to meet you Debra. :-)

  4. It's natural to have fears, but as FDR said, "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."

  5. Excellent post, Debra. My greatest antidote for fear is to turn to God's Word. It always helps to be reminded that I am not alone no matter what I face--God is ALWAYS with us.

  6. Paul- yes fear is universal. Thanks for the visit
    Arlee- being positive is a fear buster. Thanks for coming by
    NR- nice to meet you and glad to hear your fears are short lived.
    Paula- I had forgotten that saying thanks for reminding me
    Pam-I agree with you if it were not for HIM I would be paralyzed in fear every day. Thanks!

  7. I've gotten old enough that the only thing approaching fear that I have left is of outliving the people I love. But realizing I have no control over that one way or the other, I don't waste time dwelling on it. So mostly I have inner peace and contentment. Being aware of the big picture, accepting that I can only do so much, and then letting go of the rest, works for me.

  8. I have concerns - many the same as yours, but I wouldn't say I have fears about these things. I would be afraid if my life was threatened, or if my family's life was threatened.

  9. Great post! I know many people that have the same issues with fear. Interesting read and I will definitely be back.

  10. What a wonderful outlook! Right now, my family is under a lot of stress in various directions, and I fear it will break apart (not my immediate family, but parents, siblings). I want us to all be together so long as we live. I'm afraid I can't see much outside those current issues to really fear anything else. I'm the family peacekeeper, but with four siblings, there are a lot of different personalities, and this year has been rough, so far.

    Shannon at The Warrior Muse, co-host of the 2012 #atozchallenge! Twitter: @AprilA2Z

  11. That second to last paragraph is a hard one to follow. You are a role model for me. I am not quite in the forgiving stage. And a huge fear for me is flying, although I do it, clutching my husbands hand and saying many prayers.

  12. Susan- letting Go and letting God, works for me. Peace to you
    SherryE-life being threatened, yes that would be a biggie for me
    Charlie- yes please come back and thanks for the visit
    Shannon- My worse fear came through my family has ousted me.
    Family enstrnagement is the worse especially with
    siblings. Mine is with mom and siblings so really hard.
    Loverofwords- trust me when I say not forgiving becomes a cancer
    that will eat you alive. You must forgive, not for
    the other person but for you.

    Thanks so much for this discussion. It's good huh?

    1. I'm so sorry to hear that, Debra. I'll never be able to understand that sort of thing.

    2. Mother's day is such the hardest. I think my mom just fell out of love with me, then pitted my siblings against me which wasn't hard to do.

      I still love them madly and it's nothing they can do about it. I pray and ask God to help me and he does. I guess we all have our cross to carry.

  13. I try to face up to fear - like starting something new and thinking you will fail. Doing something a bit like that now with employment. Hope the positive thing lasts till the interview! Thanks for posting.

  14. I fear worms, so I'll wear gloves if I have to work in the yard. Lol

    Great post in fears.

  15. Congratulations on conquering your fears and replacing the huge vacuum where fear once resided in the center of your being. My fears include flying cockroaches, mammograms, and tsunamis. Theme: A World of Crime

  16. There is not much that actually scares me but anything that endangers my kids is one.

  17. What a wonderfully honest post!

    I'm in a place where I have the 'being a good mom' fear. We have five and it was my decision to home-school them and I have a fear of time allotment for each one. Yet, thankful for a supportive mate and a warm community.

    Love this discussion!

  18. Susan- You are WOMAN watch you roar. Rock that
    Miranda- worms are kind of creepy. I can see
    the fear factor.
    Gail- I fear drowining so Tsunami is a big one
    Mk#39- oh yes don't mess with my kid!!!!!!
    Archna- I think as the kids go through different ages you do go through the blaming yourself stage when all that we want them to be doesn't come out. But take heart, kids always come back to their foundation, the core that you have centered them in, so no matter what they end of coming out just right.

    I love to see all your smiling faces and wonderful talk. You are really great friends!

  19. I have many of the fears that you list and some more. I think that the most important thing is not to let it stop you. Doing something in the face of fear, is true courage.

  20. Great question. I think my biggest fear is spending so much time in my head or making plans that I wake up in 20 years and winder where they all went! I need to constantly remind myself to live in the present.

  21. Fascinating thoughts about fear and forgiveness! The ability to forgive is the higher and healthier road! Julie

  22. This is a great post. You seem like you are at a very healthy place in regards to fear. I think it is best if we embrace our fears - it helps in transcending them.